There is no way I haven’t written since April!!!!
It seems my last post from a few weeks ago was deleted…Are there any bloggers out there that can help me figure out if my post is retrievable or actually lost in virtual world???
Anyway, I could try to be “good” writer and try to make myself look good but I would rather just write. I was inspired by my dear cousin Becca who finally started on her blog again. I thought to myself, if she can do it (have a set of 8-month-old twins), I can too!
Life is busy as always with its twists and turns, highs and lows, delights and challenges. I have been embracing life in a whole new way as I have discussed in a few other posts (including the one that got deleted.) Sometimes it feels like a “new” me because, lately, I have gotten lots of “new” things: a new car, a new piano, a new boyfriend to name a few. And soon I’ll have new phone and in just a few months-a Masters Degree! I look at my life and I realize how blessed I am…I just cannot contain my appreciation for life. My melancholy personality may not be reflective of this. But sometimes the things that stir inside of me are too deep to put into words so often I just don’t even try to explain my thoughts.
Underneath all the “new” is the same old me and the Spirit that sustains me. As always, my fears are in my shadow clawing at me and lying to me. But lately my relationship and connection with God have been restored! I don’t really know what happened…maybe it was a “phase” or has something to do with my moods and ever-fluctuating brain chemicals. Or maybe God wanted me to go through a “trial.” I don’t really care. I am so grateful because the doubts I was having were so suffocating; I feel like I can finally breathe again!
Again and again I feel it in my soul: even if I lost everything, I can be fully and completely whole, having this one relationship with the One who gave me Life. Sometimes it’s a fleeting thought, but it’s there and this knowledge keeps my fears at bay. I am very aware that this might sound cliche and “Christiany” but I can’t stop my soul from speaking.
More to come…