Noises and colors mesh and I am sitting here trying to breathe. Deep into myself. I don’t know where the breathing will lead. And I just forgot who I am. My right hand is icy cold and I am tired of trying to warm it up. My brain is so scattered I feel like an hour ago was not even my life. How can I sit here and seem at peace but inside I cannot get my breathing to flow properly? I am looking for solace and I feel like I have no home. Now the sun has gone down and I told my roommate we could take a walk. But I have let the darkness come before the light. Sometimes they get so loud: the thoughts, feelings I don’t know how they can even be a part of me. How can I shift so swiftly and why do I feel like an alien in my own skin? I am trying to embrace this shift and not judge it. Let it in and out. I am so sick of trying to figure everything out. Will I not just rest in the confusion? Accept that I may never understand how I click and hope that someone will love me regardless of my forgotten identity?