I have been having thoughts lately. That is not abnormal of course. I have established that I am different than a lot of people. I think a lot…a LOT. It is hard for me to stop thinking. Here is a sample…I don’t know if I want to be called a Christian because I don’t want people to think I am “one of those” annoying people, but I also don’t want to be ashamed to be called one. Because I literally am a Christian-“follower of Christ.” People can think what they want. But I DO really care what they think…But I am still confused. How do I know for sure Christianity is the “right” religion? All I know is I am done with religion but I am not done with the One who saved my life. Speaking of which, I am starting another blog about depression. I have been thinking a lot about my dreams. I sometimes don’t think I have any…but I do. My main one being I’d like to be a writer and I believe God wants me to stop hiding my gift. I was convicted of this after reading a great book called The Soul Tells a Story last year. Today I talked to my brother Nate and he gave me some ideas about how to get people to read my stuff, even though, of course, I have major performance anxiety and am terrified of what people think of me (see above). Obviously, this one thing (obsessing over making everyone happy) is my main barrier in life. I have always struggled with it…for reasons I won’t get into here. But I’m sick of it. I want to be carefree. I want to stop thinking I suck at everything I try to do and quitting doing things that once brought me joy just because I am not perfect at them. I want to stop being envious of people in my life who have what I supposedly want (mostly women) instead of enjoying the wonderful position I am in right now in life. Oh God, I can’t wait to be free. I know I am more free than I have ever been but I have such a LONG way to go.