>My Life

>I am looking at a moldy tomato that I got (among other healthy) ones from my friend Josh. It’s sitting on the table amongst a variety of fruits and vegetables, onions, sweet potato, apples, pears.

“These are warnings signs if the flu is severe…that you need to get your child to the hospital.” The radio DJ says in the background.

My mind is throwing around all these colors and textures and words and sounds. And I look back on my week. Full of excitement, praise, hope, and the possibility of explosion.

The sun that came out yesterday was amazing…I even got out to go on a walk with my roommate, Theresa. We talked about our early babysitting experiences.

While I sit here, everyone I know is going through some sort of life transition or grief period. And I am praising God. Is that selfish?

I have gotten a job every day this week (either with the group home job or sub teaching) and have really enjoyed it despite my exhaustion and on-and-off headaches. After teaching first grade today, I will drive over to my old group home where I worked for three years and do a short shift there. I am so excited to see everyone again but it’s going to be a crazy long work day. Then tomorrow I may or may not pick up a sub teaching job. And on Sat I work 16 hours at the regular group home and Sun 8 hours. I love God’s provisions but hopefully I am not overdoing it.

I am really trying to be intentional about everything that’s happening to me, take nothing for granted. While constantly praying for my friends/family who are struggling (who isn’t?) I won’t believe the lie that God should “spend less time with me and go to them who need him more.” He has been my closest and Ever Presence these past few days and weeks. The only thing I am doing differently is simply inviting him in to the smallest tasks and thoughts. He truly does care, as I have learned. I tell Him all about these people that I love and care about, admitting that I CAN’T change their situation. He has really given me purpose, life and hope when I feel I least deserve it…

Anyway, yes a very random post.

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2 comments

  1. Becca · October 8, 2009

    >I love your post today! So neat to see how God is working in your life. God does provide! Hope you have a wonderful weekend and that you get the rest you need. You have a lot on your plate!

  2. Matt Grudzielanek · October 8, 2009

    >Is it selfish to praise the God of the universe when you're doing well and others not? NO! All of us should praise God all the time, and in all situations–even when we don't feel like it. Not sure if your question was retorical or not, but the answer is no–it's not selfish. Giving praise is never selfish–and don't let satan fool you otherwise. Good for you to keep strong in the Lord and not letting satan in–it's a challenge at times. It's great that you are working a lot–just be mindful of your body and what it's telling you–it's very easy to get burned out and not let yourself rest; nor become a "work-aholic"–work can be a foothold for satan to split you from friends that care–after all, he loves going after sheep that aren't with the flock. I'm not sure why you feel you don't deserve all that God has given you and will give you. I know it's a feeling, and I cannot talk to feelings–but I would say that that feeling you're having is not of God and you should ignore it before it becomes more than what it is. He created you and gave His Kingdom to you because He loves you and He knows you deserve it. Relish in that and ignore the deception. Blessings to you as you continue in your transitions.

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